U.S. Slaps Tariffs on Tariffs in Bold Move to Outsmart Itself

In a groundbreaking economic maneuver, the U.S. government has announced a new round of tariffs—this time on its own previously imposed tariffs. "We realized that tariffs were hurting American businesses, so the logical solution was to tax those taxes," said a government spokesperson, adjusting their abacus. The move is expected to create a "boomerang effect" in which the economy both collapses and flourishes simultaneously. Critics argue that the policy is as effective as putting a hat on a hat, but officials insist it will "absolutely confuse the global markets into submission." In response, trading partners have begun imposing tariffs on their own exports, leading to a worldwide game of economic Uno where everyone keeps drawing more sanctions.