In a shocking but somehow unsurprising move, former U.S. President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin have announced the grand opening of their new business venture: *Best Buds Café*. The establishment, set in an undisclosed location “definitely not in Moscow,” will serve a menu featuring Trump’s “Covfefe Deluxe” coffee blend and Putin’s signature “Spy Stew.” The café promises “the greatest deals,” but patrons have noticed their orders mysteriously changing once they leave the counter. While critics warn the café might be a front for something far more covert, Trump assures the public, “It’s the most tremendous, totally secure café ever—everyone says so!” Meanwhile, Putin remained silent but smirked cryptically while stirring his tea.
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