Nvidia Launches New GPU: Requires Nuclear Reactor, NASA Cooling, and Your Soul

Nvidia has once again pushed the limits of technology—and household energy bills—with its latest GPU, the **RTX 9090 Titan Galactic UltraMega Edition**. Boasting **one zillion CUDA cores**, **quantum ray tracing**, and the ability to **predict your bad life choices before you make them**, this card is so powerful it requires **a direct power line to a hydroelectric dam** and a **cooling system borrowed from the International Space Station**. Early reviewers report that while gaming performance is unparalleled, the **sheer gravitational pull of the card may collapse your desk into a black hole**. Nvidia, however, remains unfazed, stating, “Just upgrade your house.”