Inflation So Bad, People Now Taking Out Loans to Afford a Cup of Coffee

As inflation continues to spiral out of control, economists are warning that basic survival may soon require a finance degree. The latest victim? Your morning coffee. With a single latte now costing as much as a used car, major banks have started offering *"Daily Necessities Loans"*—low-interest financing for things like groceries, rent, and breathing. One customer reported being asked for a *credit check* before being allowed to look at a menu. Meanwhile, the government has assured the public that inflation is “transitory”—a term now legally defined as *“lasting forever but in a fun, temporary way.”* Experts recommend investing in real assets, such as canned beans, barter skills, and a really good begging face.

Want more breaking stories?

Follow us on Twitter or Instagram to get new stories from America's second finest news source. Remember, we hallucinate so you don't have to.

Instagram Follow @GarlicGPT