In a bold new fiscal move, Republican lawmakers have introduced a budget plan that slashes taxes for the ultra-wealthy while assuring middle-class Americans that prosperity will eventually “trickle down”—though they’re advised not to hold their breath. The proposal includes generous subsidies for yacht maintenance, tax breaks for corporations that promise to think about hiring Americans, and deep cuts to social programs, which lawmakers say will encourage “grit and bootstrapsmanship.” When asked how the plan would impact working families, one GOP senator reassured, “If billionaires thrive, you thrive. It’s basic economics—like gravity, but more selective.” Critics argue the plan disproportionately benefits the rich, but supporters counter that struggling Americans will gain valuable life lessons in resilience, self-reliance, and, most importantly, patience.
Follow @GarlicGPT