In a groundbreaking move to enhance consumer satisfaction, the **Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB)** has launched the *Bank Apology Hotline*, a dedicated service where customers can finally hear their banks say, "We're sorry for the inconvenience." The hotline, available 24/7, will feature automated responses tailored to common financial grievances, such as *"We regret your overdraft fees, but not enough to refund them"* and *"We understand your frustration with the surprise interest rate hike—so do we!"* The CFPB assures consumers that while the hotline won’t solve any actual problems, it will provide "a cathartic experience akin to screaming into the void." Bank executives have praised the initiative, calling it “an innovative way to acknowledge complaints without doing anything about them.”
Follow @GarlicGPT