In a groundbreaking move to boost *business efficiency* (and yacht sales), the U.S. has officially dismantled the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act (FCPA), declaring an end to the “burdensome” era of anti-bribery enforcement. Lawmakers hailed the decision as a victory for *“streamlining negotiations”* in global markets, ensuring that well-placed *“expedited payments”* (formerly known as bribes) can now fuel economic growth without pesky legal scrutiny. Corporate leaders are already celebrating, with one executive stating, *“It’s refreshing to know that when I say ‘let’s make a deal,’ I don’t need three lawyers whispering in my ear about compliance!”* Meanwhile, a spokesperson for Transparency International was last seen stress-eating a stack of shredded reports.
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